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May
into our thoughts
come the
gods of movement
may
into our feelings
flow
the gods of light and form
may
into our wills
come
those wisely formed
movements
of the gods
we
call dance or heart’s speech
not
love itself but
its
power experienced
all we
can take with us
to the
other world
I did
dare
to eat
that
pear
you both
recommended
sweet
with bad
parts
I cut
out it
made
a
gurgling sound
as it
went
down waiting
for
my
call to
get
through to
you don’t
leave
a
message your
recorded
voices sang
unless
you haven’t
eaten
all those
really ripe pears
Who or
what
will
happen when
we
realize our
real
lives happen
in the
night
in our
sleep
in our
dreams
that
the day
awake
time is
only a
pale
impression
a poor
translation
of that
compellingly
lived version
which we
forget
immediately
waking up
as if
from
a
spell back
into
our own
beloved
little selves
How have
I
not been taken
how have
you
been
spared are
your
sins insufficient
let me
pay
your
fare make
up for
all
those years
you
missed
feeling terrible
alone once
this
stone was
some
thin
cloud this
cloud a
garnet
stone things
fell
out of
heaven
even
the sun
fell
down
To
what use
is brilliance
put
useless
brilliance
purple
eyes
in
bluest flowers
above
the gray harbor
slap
slapping
of
brilliant water
against
boat bellies
against
docks
like a
hand
soothing
forever
Prisoners
to our
own perceptions
powerless
to our
own
attractions
arrogant
to our
affections
convoluted
in our
confessions
unrepentant
in our
conflagrations
stupefied
by our
own reactions
redundant
to our very
haiku
narrative bones
our
endless bifurcations
our
supercilious moans
I
shudder to
wonder
what we
would
have done
without
the purpose
of the
will
to
serve knowledge
the mind’s
true love
though
the body
betrays
it over
and
over with
a mere
facsimile
of
pleasure while
a few
moments
its
small happiness
hastens
through us
driving
us further
and
further
into
the flesh
How
would you describe
your inner
life to me
what
extended music
mirrors
it exactly
or is
it more an animal
than a
place in your head
I mean
do you see yourself
alone in
a strange house
in the
middle of Texas
through
a glass clearly not
or
living in some lost
but
central city of love
with
someone vulnerable
intransigently
sane
and
mercilessly witty?
All my
allusions
are to
narratives
now
lost to me
the
allusion to
the
final adventure
in
_______ for example
or the
allusion to
the
first adventure
in
________ all lost to me
though
I recall one
about
a perilous pond
or a
petulant ford
but
the sources
though
rather recent
are
weak and scurrilous
and as
I say are all
in any
event
lost
to me
At
8:31 AM
a flood
excised
a
rather large
encampment
of
ants I visited
once the
original
peoples
of this
land
devastated
half
their children
starving
left
behind
whole
nations
buried
in the
heart
of
this America
Right
now
here on
earth
is the
only place
we get
to be free
the only
catch is
that all
we get
to see
is illusory
starting
with oneself
what
comes first
must
step to the
back
of the line
pushing
from behind
everything
else
into
the furnace
I mean
the future
only here
on earth
is
each thing
each
thing burning
together
and alone
Once
walking
around
somewhere
thinking
of
my
life
that
having
life
one
is
ashamed
of it
it is
so
colossal
tender
and
confusing
at
first
one
forgets
we
made
this
we
invented
all this
as
best
as
love
could
get
Falling
sleep
after long
thoughts
he
started
dreaming
and
died
somewhere
in
the
dream
waking
up
in the
real
world of
the fixed
and
known
thoughts
of
the
heart
where
he
could
feel
at
home
and
love
me
deeper
I
bought
that bread
you
like
it was
one
of
those
unspeakable
days
we’re given
like
this
in
fall
more
challenge
than
ode
to joy
brave
and
foolish
summer
dying
in
your
arms
Now we’re
lost for sure it seems
so far
away from the beginning
no
one remembers anymore
how it
must all be ended
those
two great doorways
of
space that once gave us
a
context for our discernments
but
then an earned contempt
for time
crept in over and over
the
same arithmetic of pain
with a
smirk on its face
until you
came breaking
ranks with
the gods
of dire
necessity
dragging
freedom back
from
this illusory world
making
a new heaven
out of
hell on earth
A pomegranate
is as
close as I
can
get to a more
layered
misunderstanding
of the
world’s
mineral
concupiscence
when I
imagine souls stranded
on
nearby planets
anxious
to return
trying
to remember
what
is pleasure
this
nest of rubies
which
the sparrows
scatter
freely on
the
ground having
sucked
off all the juice
A
tower of books
leaning
in a rocking chair
looking
out the window
portrait
of a portrait
of the
summer surrendering
as a
young hybrid
it’s embarrassing
to
think of human beings
as
mere mouth-pieces
reeds
for cleverer
winds
to blow through
but
aren’t things usually
beautiful
in the beginning
the
one word shared
the
same slumber
If we
could only
impersonate
ourselves
but
the future is a dream
the
past keeps screaming
in the
present
so you
can see what a superficial
concept
time is
like a
stream that thins out over
flesh-eating
stones
so you
are flayed
unimaginable
pain
in the
body unimaginable
joy in
the spirit
fused
and cooked together
so it
can all be taken
as
nourishment
in the
timeless realm
O
mandorla
shape of
fish
of
eyes of mouth
of sex
of soul
white
hole
where
slumbered
nothing
curls
where
up is sacrificed
to
down and down
to up
eternally to spin
this
world of dark
from
threads of light
O
pause
O
secret sun
O dove
perched
on the
stone
But
you didn’t
show
up did you
instead
you sent
the
rain so intelligent
ripe and
healthy as
always
but I knew
it was
you who sent
the
rain the way it barged
right in
and started drinking
heavily
reeling
and
dancing around
an
elephant in a tutu
because
that was something
you
would never do
another
feeble attempt
to
throw me off the scent
so I
can only sit here
and go
on waiting for you
in
this ridiculous rain
Even
god
at one
time
must have
known
he
could
perhaps
further
grow
himself on
earth
than
in heaven
to go
under
into
matter
and
out t’other
side
that there
be
nothing
in his
kingdom
not
known
even murder
to him
‘Most
people’
on whom
we all depend
in a national
way
aren’t
watching
or
listening
‘most
people’
are on
the subway
dreaming
or caught
in
traffic talking or
singing
to themselves
but on
the other foot
‘most
people’ aren’t
on
this beach with
me today
either
which
is a good thing
and I
don’t mean that
in a
bad way as if
I had
single-handedly
escaped
to some lost
island
or as if they
had
all gone mad
in an I’m-not-coming-back
kind
of way
How
the thing you need
in
order to understand
what’s
needed is what
not
having you must go
the
first thing happening
when
the lights came up
on the
earth was shame
will
the last be pity
but not
today my love
not if
you stay with me
The
world means
to play
cruelly
with
our love
goes
the story
cat
with anything
shaking
its head
back
and forth
poor
bird body
bird
soul flown
when
at your
feet
it lays
the
world is
so
proud of
itself
so proud
of you
as
well for
not
accepting
its gift
of
your own
dead
heart instead
