How
each thing has its
own prideful
nature and
its own secret
name inside
the coliseum of the
mind where
the words do
combat and death
is closely
observed by
large crowds we
call the body to
prove it doesn’t exist
except as
dust
You’re
my favorite I say
to the deep blue flax
but then I say
that to all the
phlox family and to
you lonely Miss Scarlet
Hollyhock
(finally showing
up) and you
feathery-leaved cosmos
flower for
whom I wait as if
I waited for
the world
Because
he never had his own
father growing up he
never learned to defy his father
but only to please and
make him proud and
you can see that in his
later political life or
take this one who did
have his own father but
felt only contempt for
him and thus never experienced
a father’s pleasure
and respect not as
something earned or
sought but the free gift of his
original affection
Just
like St. Francis I
stretch out my arms for birds
and butterflies to
land on though they try not to
embarrass me so one hummingbird
finally momentarily
volunteers did
you just see that did
that just happen Francis
was showing us what
anyone could do who loves
the earth his joy but he
suffered when he saw
we wouldn’t even stretch
out an arm or two
Hey Sweetie Time speeds
past us every day faster
and faster I don’t really
accept it but I guess we’re
busy well and thinking
of one another every day
so try to catch me if you can
when you’re free and we
can catch back up on
back in the day or whatever
love is not enough for us is it
we who deserve everything Yours J
I
feel living in a body is
like living in a prison and
like all prisons the
point is to escape or take
the time to
learn a new language but
not even death allows
for that and even
though I don’t recall
all my crimes I know
I’m guilty and that
the law is ultimately just though not always fair hardly fair but I
feel its desire to put
things right as the
main motivator in the
majority of cases
Light
finds its own day manifesting
some intelligence above
the level where
cats can reach where
you must build your
tiny nest or you
could become an
amuse-bouche for
some passing Tom so
first let’s stop eating
one another in all
these various ways and
then we can talk about coming
back to the
old place and knowing
it for
the first time
At the
crowded store where
I found this liquid
soap the guy at the
check-out counter smiled
explosively remarkable
eyes so now
whenever I wash with
this emerald cucumber-scented
soap his face
materializes in my mind
as in a mirror like a
mocking balloon of the
genuine article when
love enters in
How
much happier Tanya would have
been with Lensky they
agree about love while Olga
and Onegin agree about life and would
have been happier just
having an affair doesn’t Eugene
even tell Lensky he would have had
him pick the older sultrier
Tanya over the boring Olga Eugene
is terrified of boredom it’s
the first thing he asks Tanya aren’t
you bored here in the country filling
your head with love stories when
it turns out in the end you’ll prefer
duty to passion and ruin habit
to happiness and doom
Turns
out all that saved time is lost time
because all time is lost time or
perhaps merely inexperienced or not
remembered a lot turns
out it’s only the past and future
that have any real existence what
we call the present’s just the
sound of their bumping headlong
into one another the shutter- click
of recognition capture then
dissolve to the next embrace I have
pasted you on my wall the one
that stands forever
Somehow
I’ve turned my
Tourette’s outside in so now
I’m always shouting something
dreadful at myself
inside dreadful hateful
curses that go on and
on unheard and
getting my feelings hurt as if embarrassed
by the truth and
then remembering oh yeah right
it’s not his fault it’s his
karma that’s at fault so
much to get over himself so
little him
Existence
is not negotiable the
way living here is even
shovels pulled over
stones know this echoing
of swords but to
sign or not to sign should
be the question I mean
if we are all signs of
something ourselves the
evidence the autopsy of an
idea which has died into
the things themselves even
if you can only think it
through this far to love it’s
all a question of perception and
then valuing then
the gratitude can come
The
old man across the street
emerges with a
pail to pick a dandelion
and arugula
salad from
his yard it
looks like he eats
daisies too his
face is so
expansive I hadn’t
noticed before how he
appropriates the
sun nodding behind
those branches sometimes
he gets caught
bending over and can’t
straighten up but
gradually walks
himself upright again by
the time he
reaches the door
Some
days are so beautiful in that
smiling understated way I just
want to say to everyone it’s
OK go on without me I
think I’ll stay impossibly stuck here
in this mid-morning brawl
of everything just getting underway
the trees heavy-laden with
colorful promises the ground trembling
with roots and worms like
someone shuffling his feet I just
want to live here in the
knowledge of this one resurrected
day before hope has to
intervene again with
its hopeless warnings about
anything at all to be
accomplished here today
Already
there are the round red asses
of the infant pomegranates
the earliest ones
while most are still busy
becoming the color of light
red flowers does that
make me a nature poet or if
I said light red vaginas would
that make me shameless as a
New York post-modernist poet
who knows what to do with
poetry that’s the point don’t
turn it into a face book novel don’t
save it from its outlaw roots its
secret unprintable future all it
must do to reach you
Deeper
into the visible world where your
love manifests as
leaves and skin and as
quick as two sparrows him
jumping on and off her maybe
eight or nine times as long
as her wings kept trembling
more more he’d hop back
on and do her justice until
she’d had enough and hopped
to another branch chirping
that was great it sounded like to me and
flew off leaving him shaking
himself together then bursting
off after her yeah
dude like that your
love visible and invisible natural
and unnatural
The worst
thing is to be
pulled up hard against
one’s own serious
limitations I mean
especially after the
prophecy of
childhood to feel the heaviness
of things sink
in but refuse to be limited
by that instead to accede
intuitively to a
sense of one’s own inherent
illimitability the
full flowering of each self that
can only happen over lifetimes
and in which this life
must necessarily be
incomplete a missing piece of
everything and yet hardly
anything at all in all
A
shrub with delusions of grandeur
I trained into a
small tree which suddenly
stood above me blue
flowers hanging down whispering
so now I suppose you
want this for yourself as
well but everywhere I look I’m a
fake tree bobbing and weaving
with sudden gusts of
self-disgust inescapable tsunami for days
cast up on the highest reach survive
to survey the damage and the loneliness of God
More
muscle contractions than songs
we think of them as
songs but it’s more the ringing
of etheric bells or a
high-strung xylophone struck
to ripple out into the populated
air of a new Florence or a deeper
penetration of a new New
York notes played by the
ego of that species whose rhythmic
bursts of
pleasure and joy come
to feed come to
heal the world
Valentine’s
first abortion was actually
in an earlier life when
he was a she love
feeds first on the slow or
lame too old or too young
to keep up Valentine
realized one morning his dead
friends and relatives were
coming to graze and nibble on his
dreams a not unpleasant sensation
he grew addicted to but
some nights they’d come to parched
and barren fields and Valentine
would watch their
sad outlines turn and lumber off to starve
another night the
unimaginable poverty of the
dead he thought forced
to survive on our
uninspiring dreams with supersensible
frugality
I once
met a Valentine in the
witness protection program for
having forged a computer from
the toothed wheels of his heart what a
little shit cowering
in his cave as if all
librarians are hoarders (is
one hoarder a whore) who
thought the things just wanted to
leave to abandon us again all
our lovely bargain traitors it’s
not so much the amount of the
shit you have he said but the
freakin’ mess it’s all in so you
can’t even find your dick
or your vagina whichever
the samba
When
the crows regard the balconies with their
flowering symptoms and the ripe
succulents begin to bloom as
their ancestral heritage and home once
open hills of sea breeze now
modernist visions of cement when
the crows begin to land and
scratch around on the balconies toppling
the glazed pots and tables will I
still think I’m dreaming but I
still can’t stop thinking and
rather than trying not to maybe
I just need to resurrect my
thoughts crystalize them with
forms that lift them up from
the brain-grave to walk the
world as trinities and saviors do you
know who I am the
homeless man yells in the street I’m
number one you can’t
take me down