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The word I can’t recall
Is ‘haze’ being in one
Has the feel of something
Derogatory waiting in the
collar
Of the sky yet one mounts
One’s horse one’s cross
With alacrity a horse’s
Dose of blue like a blank
hand
Reaching for a nail or
whip
But poor punishment is not
Today’s purpose enough
Of the words I know
Give me the ones
I can’t recall
Dancing with my dead
mother
To Hall & Oates ‘I can’t
Go for that/no can do’
I find I can but don’t
need to
The great thing about life
Is that everything’s
always
Becoming something else
Even stillness is a
movement
Toward going with the flow
Thus rafting and
meditation
And the whole realm of
sleep
And the most flowing of
all
The warmth of the will
That must be behind it all
Here we have the cadaver
Let’s begin with what
It didn’t have the stomach
for
A slice down the throat
Reveals the Tuesday when
it fled
Here I mean where the
backbone
Crumbled into the cage of
ribs
Where we find the worm of
the lie
By which the heart unraveled
And the lungs collapsed
But maybe you can feel
Hovering above the flesh
The soul of fear
Amazed now and confused
There was anything to fear
A poem leaves
Doubt behind
The way Orpheo
Left Euridice
Though it must
Search for her
Forever finding
Words along the way
That are its own body
Which still needs her
To cherish the doubtful
And what slips away
Who knows the time
Of his passing but
Everyone would like to
And maybe it would be
Better if we did
Think of how it
Would change everything
Like the suddenness of sight
To a blind woman in the
street
Would we run home in
terror
To consider our options
Like those fish that duck
into
Holes when the tide rolls
out
Who would we tell
Who would believe us
The rose of the world can
see
I’m just cleaning my nose
To enjoy its company the more
Whose scent is the
flower’s
Memories of Arles and
Provence
Its youth in Damascus
Its long childhood in the
fires
Of Lemuria its phantom
body
Growing stronger on the
roadsides
And the mountain passes of
new worlds
And in the burnt woods of
spring
Among the first to return
Its thorns protect it
And its scent calls it
forth
Only a man
Who could settle
For a blossoming smile
From one who thought
He was blind but
Can see now
A smile that turns
Inward like a searchlight
To catch the pictures
Then outward to touch
His face and the air
around him
Because he washed
The mud away
With the smile that sees
It was just mud
Mixed with a little blood
Fallen from his head
If either everything
I’ve already accomplished
Or everything I’ve yet
To comprehend good
Or not or both
If I haven’t taken the
time
To memorize one line
What will I remember
On the other side
That my soul not die
But join back in
To the whole organized
Chaos of being
Like crowds shoveling into
An underground train
Getting to work
Getting to the hospital
Getting home
I threw away my glasses
And got new ideas instead
I saw the same music
But now more deliberately
My new glasses
Have a style two
Asterisks referring the
reader
To the footnotes swollen
At the bottom of the rage
We are a scrip
Written by a sage
An illness
Buried in a cure
If only what is lost
Can be found again
Though no forgetting’s
Random things are
Kept in the background
So something pressing
Can step forward
Memory is seeing that’s
Trying to turn around
Away from what is found
To what is not lost
But hidden because
It steps past time
Is not bound
By any of its seasons
Our time demands
That every woman
And every man
Become a true Greek
Philosopher again
But no one wants to
Give up their phones
And have to think
Their way back upstream
Against fierce inner
And outer currents
Inconvenient shortcuts
But from what does
The world work
So hard to distract us
If not its treasure
If I forget
To clean her litter-box
She shits on the roof
Of my car says she’s
A squatter asserting
Original nationhood
On which we still depend
And if every creature
Had the right to shit
With dignity how
Much greater it must be
To live with dignity
To feel welcomed
On the earth
Be careful not to put
Yourself first too often
It gets to be a diagnosis
After a few months
Create photographs
In which you can hear
What’s happening
In the real world
Behind the pictures
Jogging the memory
Whose other side waits
But on the receiving end
This time be aware
There is another
Who lives inside you
With not always your
Best interest at heart
After a long rain it’s sweet
to listen
To the heavy wetness that
settles
Heavily into the dry
ground
Like a fat man into a hot
tub
And what spills over
Dries quickly on the warm
walls
And the smell of history
gets to rise
Up from the deep earth
Soothing its hatred within
So its muscles relax a
little
And a long exhalation
Or exultation ensues
As the rain once so
triumphant
Falls asleep like a child
in the earth
Maybe what we face now
Mirrors the months just
before
The Civil War broke out
And the scales were
tipping
The northern hypocrisy
exposed
And the southern royalists
raging
Both falling toward the
same fire
The fire of so many lives
Burnt to cinders
Will we let the
dictatorship
Of money (the king) rule
Us our slavery today
Still all about money
Or will we learn to live
As one family watching
Out for one another
And get some therapy
Are you afraid
You’re becoming
Too dependent on me
We all fear dependence
Much more almost
Than our freedom or liberty
Or whatever you want
To call it because
I fear I’m becoming
Too dependent on you
And just when
I was learning
To walk and cry
Out on my own
As I always could
Conscience don’t be too shrill
With me if I drink my fill
Of the world of my will
My guilt is pre-existing
A work-in-progress
Each life packing for the
next
Dragging along unnecessary
things
As if it was your first naïve
voyage
Or war undertaken or
avoided
When actually it’s a razor’s
Edge you stare down
On one side civilization
Then a narrow stretch of
sand
Still walkable
Then the roaring ocean
What we name levity
Overcomes gravity
What we name gravity
Overcomes levity our tools
but
Somehow both
Must hypotenize a third
For which we have a few
names
But no description
So let’s call it Victor
La Victoire one who tries
To scale the wall of will
And stand astride the
fulcrum
Always flowering
Always forming a new seed
Always gesturing toward the sun
I found something I needed
And not five minutes later
I lost something I loved
Memory’s handing-off of
One thing with another
There’s peace for a moment
In the letting go of the
power
To affect any particular
outcome
All words are stolen
From the original mouth
As great destinies are
spawned
Wondering at our
littleness
Our need to be carried
along
Our need to die
On the earth we love
We have our thinking
To understand our feelings
And our feelings to
understand
Our desires but none can
Rule alone or gang-up
On the weaker
Thinking decides
If the goal be worthy
While feelings prepare
To throw caution
Out the window
So in the end
The will is all
An alternative explanation
For life and the cosmic
order
Has grown up in our world
That seeks to reclaim the
spirit
Living in all bodies
That we have forgotten
Conveniently enough about
Like the power of the
passivity
Of the king revealed
As just another man
A little cornered
And what follows
Just another game
But where’s the next chess
That must follow the king’s
loss
The equality of all the
players
Working as one kingship
It’s true I would have
Wanted to touch your body
To put my hands into
The hot coals of your
hands
To feel your arms around
me
And mine around you
I would have wanted
To have that dinner with
you
The one you promised me
When we were children
Where we could catch up
On all things personal
And universal
Called back for a second
Closer look this time
In a comfortable room
Where I could unwind
Until the interviewer
boomed
What is the last
Amazing thing
You saw or thought
What’s your experience
Working with despair
How many years
Did it take you
To get past the surface
Describe what you remember
Of the physical world
In a hundred words or less
Yes we’ll get back to you
The holy art of cleaning
Is hard to master
The first to be postponed
Until looms the disaster
Like washing the feet
Of the physical world
On a regular basis
She lived upon her knees
Leaving behind an
immaculate
Journey of floors and
stairs
Awaiting laughter and
tears
And fed four children
In her own swept home
Taught the fine art of
dusting
Performed every day
Moving death out of the
way
In the museum of my
feelings
There’s a zoo in the
basement
Where the will is divided
Into several cages some
Luxuriously furnished
To maintain sufficient
Levels of distraction from
The disdainful thoughts
Living upstairs period
pieces
Tastefully combined with
Modern paintings and
things
Carefully passed down I try
To open a window on envy
But there are none down
here
Sooner or later the will
Will have to be invited up
Acknowledged as the secret
heir
And the heart’s true son
I did get an interview
But I didn’t get the job
I was put in a room
With a bearded
questionnaire
Playing devil’s advocate
Trying to explain
How an honest face
Can be a way of hiding a
beard
I know it’s really confusing
I forgot why I was there
And what job I could
possibly
Be applying for
When the salary’s so low
And all the benefits
so future
I watch the cat
The way I watch
The world or the way
I watch this floater
In my eye suddenly
It rises to the zenith
Then drifts off north
I start to watch
My watching
That little black boat
Dashing over the ocean
Of my eye or hovering
Seed-like before
It falls to earth
What the cat can’t get
through
She leaps over
Buy that PVC valve today
Or whatever it was you
said
To assure adequate
Transmission of fluids
Have that right eye
lasered
And drive home with
blurred
But increased
consciousness
Don’t forget the two Cornish
hens
And to peel and pit the
plums
To be assembled around
them
Feast for our one day of
rest
To celebrate our liberty
Not our liberties which
proliferate
But our freedom from kings
And the royalty of money
Which lasted about five
minutes
We have to push back
Against one another
We’ve been doing it
From the beginning
But now we’ll only find
The way ahead
If we work together
Like the cat and I
Watching the hummingbird
But not for long
The cat’s also considering
That barking down the street
A bundle of anxieties and
leaps
It’s getting so warm
Birds melt into the air
Even before they fly
Out of sight
