Until Valentine

There is a large part of me

Seriously addicted to me

And a smaller part in recovery

Still going to meetings in my mind

There is a part of me I never see

Until I become a stranger to me

And look back critically

On my creation of me

And see it will take a shove

Or a jolt must come

To get over myself

Incrementally

Little by little until

All littleness is gone 

And the world and I are one

As I've been telling me

At Some Frontier Valentine

My warm hand grasps my cold hand

The greeting of my separate halves

Who stand and stare at one another

Best of strangers best of friends

Like two diplomats conjoined

Across a barbed-wire fence

Wondering if this rain will pass

Chatting about their children

One estranged one a dancer

Each sees the other in himself

But what brave cities sent them out

To cobble yet another peace

A weak heart on the one side

And a broken liver on the other

Ars Poetica Valentine

I think it is the classicist in me

That is secretly romantic

I feel it is the materialist in me

That used to be a mystic

I will to feel my thinking

A pebble on imagination's grave

That something may revive

Of our old first words

Mamma Papa you and me

I am nostalgic for tomorrow

Where everything is yet to be

And look back eagerly

On all my waiting still to come

Just to have you all again

Daily Valentine

I take my fury for a walk

Leashed and muzzled tight

Dragging me through the sunny

Streets struggling to keep up

Over to the park and pond

Where I can drown it

Under the swan's invisible feet

It is something she must eat

Snake-like with her yellow beak

How else develop her serenity

If not she feeds on scorn

Rage and pride reborn

More radiant when she flies

Over everything that dies

Gathered Valentine

Whenever two are gathered

And yet he and I make two

A circle small enough

To contain all others

 

Whenever we call their names

And the names we have forgotten

That used to be ours

And still I call his name

 

You whoever I used to be

Whenever he is in me

And you the others are in me

Because of him

 

And evil stands at the door

Knocking and we have let it in

To sit and speak with him

While we can only listen in

Some Real Conspiracies Valentine

On the noble gates of heaven

Open all night and all day

Some have hung No Trespassing signs

Some who want to convince us

There's nothing there because

They can't or will not see it

And even if there could be some Valhalla

We'll discover it when we're dead

Slamming the gates shut

Some who want to shackle knowledge

Of the light to power and violence

Exchange love for a vegetable life

(Is there a more abused word

Than love a more uncertain activity)

Some who would like to persuade us

This battle is not being fought

On other than wholly spiritual grounds

Enough Valentine

I woke to the single cry

Of a bird being snatched by a cat

Just outside my window

I could feel its hunger

My stomach growling

And the helplessness of that

Bird as I lay dreaming

And when I rose and walked

Out into the perfect weather

Still hungry still helpless

A strange calm I found in the yard

The light silently breathing me

And there a beautiful feather lay

Just enough to go on

Daring Valentine

I see they've built

A floating ladder

Up to where the mountain

Touches the cloudy sky

An easier way to get there

If you don't mind hanging

From a thread your feet

And hands clutching

Almost nothing but the light

Dangling between life

And death for a better

View of the abyss

We all must finally

Dare to cross

Fallen Spring Valentine

Out sailing toward the Flowering Quince

The good ship Daniel late from Bristol

Wrecked upon the Plymouth rocks

Of his own yard on his

Own hands and knees

Was it to see the mystery

Of the blood flowing pondering it

Like a child his pain 

Suppliant to the flowering quince

Their reds appeared the same

His hands and knees had no idea

They could be such flowers

Nor did the quince cognize

It had such human powers

In The Heart Valentine

In the heart there is a narrow gap

I've squeezed through

Between two towering

Walls of stone a point

I could have been caught at

If I hadn't thought

To climb over and from there

The passage opened wide

And I could descend

Though I still haven't made it

To that valley's silver thread

I could see it now hurrying on

Carrying all the light left

To bring me home

Selfie's Valentine

I took a selfie of my shadow

Supine on the scintillant snow

Its dark dial warning me

The light was growing late

And another of the shadow

Of the bare branches of a tree

Across which other shadows sailed

That could have been its leaves

Until I entered the shadow world

Of darker and more delicate gray

And came unhinged from the sun

As if I could go my own way

My furtive shadow on the run

Absolved by yet another noon

At The Last Valentine

A day to catch up

With all the days

That won't wait

That won't last

A rush of cars

Speeding past you

Leaving you alone

On the open road

In the middle

Of the desert

The first green

Just coming on

At last going

Nowhere being

No one now

Hillside's Valentine

On the horizon just over there

Distance always seems so peaceful

Except for those little fires

Springing up everywhere

From here we can watch

Another city burn while the sun

With startling beauty

Illuminates our loss

Herself escaping unharmed

And slowly we'll be standing

As if placed among the planets

And the stars in their millions

Each a life we have left to live

And all the time in the world

My Last Teacher's Valentine

Now an old woman of some means

Who'd once been a beauty queen

She could afford a gardener

And a secretary/house cleaner

So her students could come and sit

In a quiet spotless room

Where she would show them pictures

Of children at different ages

Some with marble faces

And still-fresh smiles

And paintings of a child turning

From his mother's right 

Shoulder to her left squirming

To get a better look at you

There in her candlelight

Children's Valentine

With a grin of wonderment

She confesses how both she

And her husband were terrible

Defiant arrogant children

Where did we come from

To punish our good parents

And now she has seven

Grandchildren all under nine

She enjoys beyond gold

The mystery she says

Is how all those years

Of being a brat taught me

What we as children are up against

And how to love and comfort them

Allegorical Valentine

When their willowy daughter Love

Married Freedom the lawyer's son

(These really were their given names)

They fought and fought

Made up and made up again

Their upstairs neighbors Hate and Scorn

Banged on the ceiling to no avail

When Freedom was on a rampage

And Love would take him to bed

Or turn the music up louder

So they could dance and sing

Until they were forced to break the lease

One day in the rain last spring

I heard they're homeless now

Or maybe gone back to Greece

Occult Valentine

Yesterday Mars snuck

Behind the moon rising

Full and resplendent

To their rendezvous

Like someone coming up

Behind you or a bee

Buzzing around a blossom

So you stand very still

While it makes its passage

Emerging chastened on the other side

And from that theater of stars

Sighs of relief descend

That set our wolves to howling

In our world without end

Annual Physical Valentine

Stripped before a beautiful stranger

Young enough to be my soul

So this is what you've been up to

All these many lives she smiles

As she probes with artifice and skill

My every orifice and cranny

To find how far some darkness

Has gotten into me how much

Reserves are left to go on fighting

She smiles but she is not amused

As I resume what modesty I've saved

Getting dressed and slipping back

Into this my one and only body

Diagnosis mortal with immortal parts

Still doomed for resurrection

Caught Valentine

But one morning he was caught

In a sudden net of birds

Coasting just above his head

It is the end he thought

Just like this evacuation

The soul rushing up out of the body

And then dropped back in again

Sufficient miracle to grasp

Other eyes were fleetingly

Watching over him

When their eyes met

And he was carried off

A veil was rent and he could glimpse

The glory that would shatter him

Hammering Away Valentine

Happily his little radio sings

Love songs in foreign languages

While the lonely carpenter

Slowly rebuilds the world

From the last few trees and birds

Resting quietly at noon to enjoy

His mother's delicious sandwiches

She got up early to prepare

Never knowing when he'd return

Sometimes he's gone for years

Sometimes she wishes secretly

He'd give it all up and come home

But she knows how much love is left

When everything else is gone

Earth's Valentine

Smaller and smaller every year

The earth will finally collapse

In upon itself through the black

Hole swallowing at its center

Even now it's being peeled away

I hear the shovels digging up the graves

To plant more bodies in the news

The forests shunting to a halt

The harrowing implication 

We must let it all go

And build yet another home

Out of the nothing left

Take up a little dirt and water

And rub it on our eyes

To see it all begin again

The sun inside the moon returned

Whatever our courage can manage

Whatever our hearts can salvage

Lady Light Valentine

Light is a lady who loves the darkness

Then leaves it to itself alone

If that's the way you want it she goes

Then that's the way it will be

But think about what I said

I will come back when you

Have exhausted all your quarrels

The hard words you can't

Take back I will absolve them all

Every cruelty I will sever

With a bright leaf and lift

You tenderly in my arms

Who knows what galaxies we beget

When we lie down together

Unfound Valentine

How many keep rushing back

As if they'd forgotten something

They can't remember 

When they get here

No idea what urgency

Compels them to return

Unless uncertainty itself

The sense of something missing

That makes going on

Impossible without it

They stand there in the middle

Of the room stared at

By those who love them

Struggling to separate

Panic from wonder

The past unknown as the future

That something still unfound

Calling Valentine

I got a call from the Unknown

Who left no message but

A call-back number

Which I dialed and kept

Getting a busy signal

But it they she randomly

Keep calling me

And even when I do pick-up

There's only the sound

Of time breathing in and out

I pretend it's some old friend

From the other side of the world

Who saved my number

To see if I'd remember him

Lord's Valentine

In the end did I let you down again

But that was only my beginning

I kept posing as myself

Shifting ideas of who I might be

From one hand to the other

I have always been divided

And half-afraid of love

And yet convinced it is all

That matters the best thing

You gave to me I can see it now

Don't let my leaving be

The last thing to let you down

In a way I'm glad

We have so far to go

Epiphany Valentine

Already talking back to his mother

The twelve day old child looks up

From her breast to welcome

The wealth and wisdom of the world

Like any child he is amazed

By the magic they perform

And the stories of their lives

You can tell by his dreamy smile

And in the opposite window

A naked man stands in a river

Fishes for his feet his hands

Open to receive not a part

But behold the entire future

Epiphany Eve Valentine

There is in us a deep desire

To find something to adore

A body or a bird or a great cause

To which we can surrender

Always and everywhere

Separately and collectively

We have built an altar in our hearts

To something better than ourselves

To emulate and worship

With our burnt offerings

We seem to sense something there

That might restore us to our

Former glory we vaguely recall

To our place among the stars

Sign's Valentine

Two heavy volcanic stones

I rescued from the coast

One oblong but flat enough

To place the other on

In the shape of a fish's head

One oval eye embedded

With a gleaming yellow shell

A circle for a mouth

I set them on the wall

Above my wooden gate

To remind me of Jonah

And the rollicking sea

Here in the desert

In the belly of the world

Awaiting my delivery

Sprouting Valentine

I spy the past limping

Winding through the future trees

It keeps coming back

Showing up in the oddest places

Today I found a seed in my pocket

A tiny brown planet

Worn down by too many nights

Spun far out of its orbit

All these years keeping

A consciousness of me

I felt it held me in its grip

Longing to be planted somewhere 

As soon as I would find it

How much time we'd wasted

Hurrying toward the ground

How Else Valentine

At the end of the year

When the year just resurrects

Another year I cleared

My small closet of all

I'd counted on the treasures

I'd stashed away and found

An old shopping-cart 

And piled all of them in

And walked the streets

Of last year's dreams

It all had to go

Into memory's savings account

And little by little would

Until that closet was empty

The shelves cleared of dust

A few hangers jangling

To hang the future on

How else stay calm

How else go on

Cast Out Valentine

After the first rejection

Which must come to everyone

Little acts of kindness

Tried to cover it up

But they knew they had to flee

Freeing and cleansing at first

To leave everything behind

Watching terror shrink

 

With every eager step away

After all it was a coming home

To old friends who took them in

Found them a little house

 

On the edge of town

Where the boy could play

And grow wonderful in peace

Getting ready to return