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The oboes are
over
like a man
without a
distance
it was not as
if
the secret
returned
to be told
another way
‘secrete us in
reality’
(Wallace
Stevens, p. 310)
a convulsion
of evenings
one of whose
sparrows flies
over the house
dressed
as the moon the
white stain
of our sin since
we were
still children
an
invagination of sparrows
you friends
who wait for me
to slip out of
my body
into yours as
the oboes
approach and start
munching and reality
secretes us
How a feather
is made up
the top button
done up
so that when
they die
gathering together
in one
place each
year’s worth
they release
into the
universe a
call to all
they’ve left
behind
to follow them
here
into a hidden
woods
lifting every
particle
of memory back
to its secret
nook
and cranny
in them air
is taken back
to light
then slowly
very slowly
light is taken
back to love
I know how
Virgil felt
standing alone
between
Homer and
Dante
his two prized
goats
whose horns
made
small
incisions in the air
on market day
I know how
responsibility
felt standing
naked
between free
will
and biology
its fate
I know how the
drink
felt between
the bottle
and the mouth
and the bullet
between the
chamber
and the
revolution
until a pigeon
flew down
and shat on my
sophia
in a country
of pigeons
I know how it
felt
If all that’s left
to read
in your own
language
is an amateur fragment
of a poem an
address
to an unnamed
lover
full of
startling obscenities
and broken
narratives
of cruelty and
love-making
meant to
remind us
of who we
really are
of course you
would
read it over
and over
you would
memorize it
you would
write it down
on your skin if
those were
the only words
you had left
in your own
language
Red-faced
ranunculus
you are part
of the amorousness
of the earth
whereas I am
only
some person who
plays me
so far beyond
metaphor
as to have
established
a residence in
reticence
as when I say
I
and yet you would
come to me so
much sooner
than
I would totally
giving
yourself up to
me
and to our
poor
rented
afternoons
again and
again
until starving
finches
had eaten
alive
every
pomegranate
their empty shells
left hanging
on the
leafless tree
outside our
room
What happens
in a heart
is what
happens
in a home
or happened
in that first
home
though there
isn’t
just that one
home
that’s a lie
whose adolescence
returns under
an assumed
name Money
who wants to
run
everything
for its own
sake
not as a tool
in the
transaction
but the master
of the outcome
you its slave
rich or poor
bitch or whore
Slowly I turn
letting the
sun
circumnavigate
my body
its warmth
spinning me
like a child
like a flame
like the lines
on this page
once a fence
holding in
the spaces
now
in the park
we come on
large flocks
of mourning
doves grazing
on the
hillside
grasses
intermingling
with smaller
flocks of
blackbirds
trying together
unsuccessfully
to spell what
looked like
we don’t love
you anymore
as we sailed past
If thought
is the father
of feeling
who’s the
mother
if not desire
holy desire
herself who
made us
which is why
poetry isn’t
about you
or me but
something or
someone we still
long to become
an
approximation
of divinity
an open field
after rain
I grew a tree
just to watch
its shadow on
the facing
wall
naked or
clothed
climb up over
the
neighbor’s roof
I taught it to
walk
right down the
street it
taught
me to speak
and when
not to speak
so now without
it to mirror
me
or without me
to mirror it
neither of us
would long exist
or persist
in this world
Didn’t I dream
I was
speaking to a
large group
when suddenly a
bird
burst into song
right
outside the
window
like a knife
though our
ears
and I asked
what bird is
that a
mockingbird
mocking me
mocking my
petty
ecstasies and
gross
manipulations
but afterwards
I learned
it was my
friend’s
cell phone
going off
we laughed in
wonder
how many would
know
that’s what truly
sang
Once because
of
unclear
wording
in the message
of instructions
two speeding
trains
head-on collided
once because
of
fuzzy thinking
by a few men
in the highest
places
two
civilizations
were destroyed
these connect
us
these world
wars
we start to
see
humanity not
just ourselves
to stand up for
Holding with
all things
the same
identical intensity
as my love for
Lucifer
my love-hate
for Lucifer
my beautiful
bullying older brother
because he
makes me look
my cowardice
in the eye
when his
friends come round
who are wolves
scavengers
so well shoed
and scarfed
they pass me
round
like a broken
doll
no not my body
anymore
my soul fighting
harder
to take back
what he stole
Usually I’m
moving
in two
directions
at the same
time
going back
and forth
constantly
in
consideration
of an
intensely private
inner world of
plumbing
and
experimental
philosophy mixed
in
with certain socially
unacceptable tastes
and smells
and an outer
space
in which I
perform
myself as monomanically
if not
majestically
as I can on a
regular
daily diet of
bliss
as a being living
in this world
today
who would like
to be
a poem in his next life
Capitalism is
predatory both
by nature and by
inclination
why won’t we
finally admit it
the simple
fact that in a system
where money
rules bodies
things power more
money
how can that
be good
for anyone yet
obviously
everyone seems
willing
to be killed
under such
terms of sale as
long as
they don’t have
to share –
in this we
have not yet
gone further
than wolves
or lions nor
as far even
as penguins
who apparently
would never put
their
own people on
the street
Curious how
string theorists
while faithful
to materialism
do perceive
another dimension
even if it turns
out to be only
a further elaboration
of materialism
but that forces
are not material things
the will
separate from its activity
they refuse to
consider seriously
even though
they’re eager
to abandon their
own
evidentiary
requirements
in this exceptional
case
pretending
that’s somehow different
from believing
in unprovable gods
or God our
sciences our religions
still refusing
to take the obvious
next step off
the cliff
of time and
space
past words to
seeing
Don’t you find
yourself grinning
that among
the myriads
and
myriads of
details
from which
life
here on earth
unerringly
is woven there
should be the
word TEST
pops up on
the screen
whenever your
mother calls?
A tiny loop in the middle
of the thin
line
of the
dried-up body
of a worm I
find
I can’t shake
a tune in mind
from yesterday
in which a
piece
of cellophane
is drifting
down a street
often I have
the
premonition
someone is
killing me
while at the same
time
someone else
is saving my
life
I need to turn
my tree
so it faces my
star more
and can look
out on the other side
just to remain
vertical
feeling the
downward pull
as the light
ascends
into that
infinite gentleness
often mistaken
for indifference
where glimpsed
through matter darkly
the stern
divinity of myself
marooned
stares back
bestowing its
cosmic disapproval
but smiling
still expectant
I may
eventually catch up
I think we are
all very excited
and critical
of ourselves and
struggle to
maintain a healthy
amount of
self-dismissal
pity which can
flare up
painfully as
with any story
with a ribcage
and a spine
at certain
moons you see
yourself the
thing cast off
and to be
honest must
reject
yourself as well
to get us to
despair of
ever
returning to the sun
our true home
furthers
nothing and
yet we must
for a time be
free to dare
And then the
camera
follows
Dietrich
to the Peking train
station where
Anna
May Wong is
waiting
in her
compartment
smoking and
sultry
a dog is
seized
from an old
woman’s
frantic arms
All
Aboard then
the
phone rang and
into the
country
where time and
life
have no valley
I mean value
Marlene offers
her
hand to the
doctor
the chickens
scurry
ahead of the
engine
into the night
of Clive
Brook’s pasty
face
I mean smoky