Grandma's Valentine

One of my first impressions
from about three or four years old
standing in my grandma’s backyard
watching school kids at recess
behind the fence across the street
and standing alone in the silence
after they’d all been swallowed up
by that huge gray building called
‘Sacred Heart’ except for me
the loneliest boy in the world
not counting I was too young
and didn’t really live there but
for the first time I remember
feeling two opposing things
at the same time torn
wishing I could join them
in their fun and yet
happy I didn’t have to yet