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Everything not
me
is Christ to
me
everything not
me
is first and
last
and at a
certain point
the creature
becomes
self-creating
the bread and
wine
just ways of
thinking
of you and me
of all beings
everything not
me
is Christ to
me
only I
stand between
us
I think
religion is just
another form
of poetry
gone terribly
awry gone
totally off
the tracks
don’t take
this literally
but apply the
standard
critical
apparatus
to strip it
down
or build it up
from basic
principles
back to the
vowels
themselves
working
into flesh and
bones
each form sung
into movement
danced into
being
so that now if
you were
to take away
the singing
who would go
to church
who would not
stay home
and sing her
own
sacred songs?
Sitting
outside eavesdropping
on neighboring
constellations
and faraway a
strangled woman
who is singing
beautifully
a little dream
of me
a siren is
coming for us both
longer lines
scare me with
cruel threats
of corpulent prose
five words
forward and
I have to turn
from breathing
to morning rounding
the corner
in this
darkening panicking poem
it’s not the
body I worry about
which is
always being demolished
and then restored
under different
contractors
differing conditions
but if my soul
shall die as
well
With parents
like
Emily and Walt
what did you
expect
a recluse and
a narcissist
one thinks of
doilies
inappropriately
dampened
one not quite
cadaverous
the other quite
a stud
already
arguing
over the air
conditioner
I can see them
roommates
living in New
York
they are young
and handsome
and will never
mend
Sometimes the
sky
opens like a
mouth
to take you in
your mouth
speaks back
as you watch
how
it
manufactures the words
ripping them
off and how
they emerge perfectly
formed
new cars
parked quickly
in distant
desert lots
in rows like
orphans
once were kept
waiting
for inspection
if not delivery
too much of
the same thing
loses the
poetry of it as if
behind its intelligent
gaze
the statue
sensed it
really couldn’t
think
as if behind
this intelligible
world there
were not
great painters
and dancers
great
composers
shameless
magicians all
we really need
to please
I tried to
pick a color
but I wanted a
rainbow
the odor of
tears
is in the
field again
the field of
economics I mean
which is like
trying to get
rain here in
Arizona
a few sniffles
the moan
of distant
thunder
but no real
letting-go
no bawling
like a baby
which is really
needed
instead we’re
fed
locusts and
lies by
so-called
Christians
that same
crowd Jesus
tossed out of
the temple
who finally
caught up to
and got even
with him
or so they
thought
We’re on two
sides of a
divide
that must be
there
and that must
be
breached -- the
in
and out of each
like where do
you
put your arms
when you sleep
mine collapse
like umbrellas
under my chin
or imitate two
leaves
fallen
into an
embrace
with me inside
rolling asleep
with a grin
O Lord forgive
me
for being so
arrogant
stupid and
vile
by letting me
go
you gave me
the freedom
to forget you
as soon as I
could
get away I
fled my
family didn’t I
let me go on
I said further
leave you
behind
wanting to
experience
myself the
failure
I could still
become
without you
How happy
I’ve been
splitting
reality
with you
taking turns
with the
divine
concepts of
love
and evil
and even worse
than despair
and
the artificial
tears
of reason is
that sense of
total loss
which is
required
if tenderness
is real
We lose so
much
of ourselves
and valuable energy
having to
check
everything out
unable to
trust much
our own
species
most days dog’s
BFF
if not our own
best enemies
forced as we
are
by angry gods
to fight
their battles
for them
to go on
pretending
this world
this life
this darkness isn’t
as naked as a
jay-bird
to us all in
the end
That one
blooming
yellow Palo
Verde tree
in front of St. Peter's
really lights up
the whole
street even
in bright
sunlight
while on the
head
of the winged virgin
a daddy sparrow
waits his turn
to feed the
chicks
a big bug
dangling
from his beak
they call them
sisters but
their brothers
must be called
Father
misogynistic
homophobic
Sanhedrin
sheep
as can happen
when the one
you love refuses
to grow up
Virtually I
went out
walking the
Cotswold Hills
above Stroud
England where
I am
considering being
born next time
although
we would have
to flee
soon after my
arrival
to an even
smaller town
in
southwestern Wisconsin
for
unaccountable reasons
my plan so far
while still
leaving a lot
of room for divine
intervention
along the way
and the usual
detours
mix-ups and
delays from
which yet
another chance
to change can come
Just to let
the thought
like a great
archangel
enter you
settle into
your bloodstream
and you have
already
conceived
some greater
being even
beyond him
or her and
on and on
but having
an ego we
like to think
we’re the only
ones or at
least the first
Most of the
outside
seems a rather
exact
distillation
of ideas
albeit
dreamily
arrived at
around
horizons
tending to
harden into chemicals
unless
resuscitated
by new oceans
of desire
but on the
inside
on that island
where it is
always
midnight in that
room
only you can
enter
to consider
your own
quiet
participation
in its arrival
you smell
remarkably like
spring
Too soon
one fell out
of the hole
in the wall nest
without
a feather
to its name I
put it back
carefully
without trying
to relate but
that was
already
some kind
of
relationship
some kind
of violation
that young
their wings
are a tawny
yellow they have
no idea what
they’re for
I live next
door to Rocky
who regularly
comes out shirtless
to wash his big
black car only
driven when
shining one morning
what the fuck
he looks up
a huge
thundering street-
sweeper is
heading for
the just-washed
car he
dashes for the
keys racing off
down the
street just as
the
street-sweeper thunders past
who knew the
street could get
this quiet a
plastic bottle
rolls out from
under something
did he leave
the hose on
late at night
he comes back alone
A duke
of the sky
came by
all beak
and whirr
quick
not shy
to ask
if I had
anything
to reply
right up
in my face
I froze
in his gaze
he left but
returned
at once
to pierce
my trance
replace my
face with
his glance
askance
Parsley clams
detergent
bleach soda
napkins
it all started
out as a
languaged poem
a micromanaged
poem
or can’t you
take a joke
as opposed to
being one
there is still
something girlish
about writing
a poem
here in
America
as opposed to
having one
written about
you I sing
(Achilles) a
cold macho thing
refusing to
make sense
deliberately
most of the time
like if poetry
were politics
Zukofsky would
be our Ron Paul
Niedecker our
Hillary Rodham
you can finish
the list
An appointment
with the muse
turns into an
appointment
with the blues
this muselessness
I cannot lose
every day
a
hummingbird
comes to see
if those
little
blue flowers
are back
on the young
chaste tree
not yet
last year’s seeds
won’t leave we
sit and grieve
Between
confused fanaticism
(virtue gone way too far)
and conscious
deliberate evil
(which never seems
to tire)
we set our
stage in the fair
ghetto of the
heart a spike
to put right
through the center
of
self-centeredness is offered
but how
selfless can
self-development
get
lost here in
feeling’s forest
cobwebs of
sensation slapping
our human arms
and faces
as we run as
fast as possible
past the
awareness of
awareness
itself just calmly
standing there
waiting for us
at the center
of the heart
Looking out
over
roaming hills
of doom
as we must
often confess
during this
sexual phase
of our
construction
we can still
whistle and
dance to any
paltry
tune and wake
to sit
at our desks
counting
the dead and
the undead
many a smitten
afternoon
in you I
trusted
country of our
bedroom
watching
evening bloom
A whole young
person
forced to live
inside
a decrepit old
body
whose eyes
have died
as happens to
all of us
between
katydid and
sparrow a
hummingbird
therein
resides and cries
floating from
flower to flower
as becomes his
thoughts
neither crocus
nor scilla
nor gentian
nor cornflower
but lips
pursed blue for another
controlled
emergency ascent
up from the
depths of the sky
Whatever falls
in the night
after the downpour
of dreams
and other
purely imaginary events
celebrated
here in the desert
are these
drops of blood
spattered on
the bricks like petals
the wind
shepherds into drifts
so a river of
blood is formed
from where a
huge stone fell
from a passing
truck
and rolled into
the yard
there’s a
hollow space
in the middle
of it holds water
stained with
ambient light
the desert
gathers round
to see itself
the petals
act like real
blood
Collage
encouraged us
to see
everything is collage
all the time we
have fitting
pictures into
various pathetic
humorous
suggestive
routers and
switches
along various levels
of comfort
but thinking
stands alone
among all our
other disasters
as still not
having understood
itself as the
missing link
in bringing
matter out of spirit
except as
abstract painting
or older forms
of minimalist art
but what sense
is anyone’s
resurrection if
others aren’t
free to
undertake their own?
Both as a
season
and a day a
reason
to continue
and a way
have you heard
any other more
compassionate
music
that depicts
the depths
of evil human
beings
are capable of
I mean
just as a
story or a
tragic-epic-drama
in which
a curtain opens
for a few
moments
between worlds
a door is
cracked
a little and
what light
comes rushing
in
irradiates us
all
Now after
today
every door
that opens
on another
morning
carries some
color
from this
empty grave
because mainly
what
they had to
say came
after and got
omitted
from the official
texts
that
everything would change
when Mars squared
Venus
and Venus
squared Mars
and that from
their rough coupling
would come
tears of joy and rage
and that only your
surrender
would bring
peace
Way below the
grackles chortling
high in the
salt cedar tree
a lonely truck
plods along
and over there
you can see
salvation
mountain as I call it
or as close as
we will ever get
to the sun
going down just
as the full
moon is rising
and that exact
harmony
is achieved
the Buddha’s
smile is all
about
there in his
statues
still as death
before he
returned
to his regular
life
Today the ruddy
shadow
of my
Christmas cactus
looks like a
crown
of thorns I
swear
I’m not that
religious
never been to
Damascus
except those
two times
but these
trumpet flowers
are purple for
some sorrow
their leaves
golden
because they reason
the earth is
dying today
having eaten
all
the light it
can
and frantic
for a way
to go on will
lay
its bloodless moonlight
in our empty
laps tonight
and weep for
life
to come again
In the dark
mirror
of my thoughts
I can
gradually pick out
my current face
among
the crowds of snapshots
of all the men
and women
I have ever
been
but now we’re
all arranged
like murmuring
bees around
their golden
hexagons
we can still
feel the body
of the queen
way above
and yet way
below us
like a central
sense of self
to which we
return after
long stretches
of dancing
carrying up
and out
last summer’s sweetness
as far as it
will go
Why should I
have to ask a
god
not to lead me
into
temptation
which confesses
it’s
one of his
options
as I have led
myself
into the world’s
trespasses
as one of mine
why should I
have to ask
you
the white
horse
of eternity
the chestnut
cloud
of your hand
you my hidden
love
for my daily
food
left behind in
heaven
as it is on earth?
The way a rag
takes up the
water
and is wrung
out
to wipe a
table clean
I took up with
you
and washed you
down
one side and
up the other
though you
hardly noticed
it was my
favorite thing
which is about
how
everything
wants to become
something else
so fiercely
it becomes the
whole
point of
evolution
to grow heaven
When with an
ungiven kiss
life from its
rigors in human corpses
flings out the
beauty of the spring
a forest sighs
into the vast of space
and the weeping
world takes up again
its
fundamental note of joy
despite our
daily need to drown it out
but still the
conquering leaves go forth
along the
strict branches of love
the town looks
civilized and neat
the sea purls
like a whale at our feet
then we can forget
to die
or as if
someone else in any event
had already
taken care of that for us
and we will
live on forever at last
I could never
grow
tomatoes and
roses
too much shade
around the
places
where I lived
and yet how
could I live
without the
things I loved
so much of the
time
as if every
grown person
should have to
grow
some blue or
yellow flower
and care for
it like
a daughter or
a son
and think of
it
carrying it
around
night and day
as that part
of us
almost
everything
in the world
would like to
kill
At the back
door
two leaves
side-by-side
like someone’s
shoes left
who has come
in
through the
locked door
like a thief in
the night
while we dreamed
but the fact
that
one thought
can link
up with
another
of its own
choosing
has nothing to
do with
the brain but
arrives
unbidden from
somewhere
outside its
sphere alone
I want to
believe the gods
are still
creating us still
maybe even
more diligently
than ever working
on us
having
evened-up the game
with their recent
unavoidable
insertion of
opposition
(evil they’re calling
it now)
and that they
remain watchful
on the
sidelines though more
on a level of
soul a concept
without a
country these days
but that a god
would die
to prove the
power of evil
in human beings
and
thereby prove the
power
of love is
almost more
than I can
bear
All this world
was just to
speak
a word one
word to you
which finally spoken
echoes in memory’s
silence
and in the
shapes
the world is
made of
to amuse us and
confuse
often even
before we
have a chance
to discover
who we are
some trauma
intervenes to
detour us
moving the
shells around
so we forget
the original seed
we carried and
how it might
under
different suns have grown